Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
