its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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