did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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