is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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