Porn is love you can see.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
