I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
