Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
