Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
