It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
