You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
