so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
