we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
