someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
