Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
