Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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