in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
