you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
