the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
