When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
