Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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