idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
