fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
