Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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