My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
