"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
