His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
