My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
