i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
