): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You don't make any sense
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