those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
