She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
