I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
