I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
