i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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