that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
