That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
