u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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