This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
