moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
