oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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