Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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