I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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