Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
