Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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