chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize