Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
