I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
