I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
