Don't you send me to vm
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
