sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
