what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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