Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
