Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
