omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
