I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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