Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
