how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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