you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
