We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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