wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize