I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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