You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you inspire me to be a worse person
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize