About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we made out on top of his cat.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
