My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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