woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
