Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
