Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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