Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
