I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
