Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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