I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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