This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
